<><><>~ Music ~ <><><>

Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An accordion player with a pager.

Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.

Q: What's the range of an accordion?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?
A: Hide it in an accordion case.

Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a lawn mower?

A: If you put both on Home Shopping Network, you could sell the lawn mower.

Q: Who's the patron saint of accordionists?
A: Our Lady of Spain.
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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

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What do you get when you play country music backwards?

-Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.

What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?

-New Age music.

What does it say on a blues singer's tombstone?

         -"I didn't wake up this morning..."

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        Maestro (to Horns): "Give us the F in tune!" 

Violist (to Maestro): "Please can we have the F-in' tune too?"

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